The narrative world is inundated with stories of brothers. The world of the internet is inundated with lists. I propose we smash the heck out of these two things, and come up with a fun list of Anthony's Favorite Brothers in media!
Jesus walked around with thirteen other men. He knew the importance of fraternal bonding during life. This was normal throughout history! Then women came along, demanding to be noticed, and fraternity fell by the wayside to be replaced with conversations about Peyton Manning's throwing arm.
I'll say it. Sports are a feminine way to celebrate masculinity.
Humanity has been intelligently self-aware for thousands of years, but we're all so fucking occupied that basic relationships are hard to come by. There's family. While those relationships are frequently beautiful and special, they're also frequently MANDATORY. I think that's important. When it comes to brothers, we get to choose who we surround ourselves with. And so it goes. On and on. After thousands of years, we still struggle with this very basic thing. How many episodes of Friends were dedicated to Joey and Chandler rationalizing out their friendship? Some (ignorant) might argue that they represent the greatest duo on television, I would argue otherwise.
So here's my list of the greatest brothers in media.
ANAKIN AND OBI-WAN:
Oh Jesus. Ben Kenobi talks about knowing Anakin Skywalker in A New Hope, letting Luke know that his father was killed by none other than Darth Vader. THEN! along comes The Empire Strikes Back, and Darth Vader drops the epitomic bombshell about Luke's true *spoiler* parentage being an enormous asthmatic robot. Phantom Menace irritated me as a child because I thought Obi-Wan didn't actually like Anakin, and the two fight like little bitches throughout the entirety of Clone Wars (minus the Geonosian gladiatoring).
BUT THEN! Episode III and all of the Clone Wars filler content put in afterwards paint this much prettier picture about Obi-Wan and Anakin being really close to one another. Frequently they save one another from certain death. (Seriously, the very few episodes of Clone Wars that really feature Anakin and Obi-Wan are amazing).
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes, I will do what I must".
"You were my brother Anakin!"
Seriously. The entire Mustafar sequence could have been a movie in it's own right. It almost atoned for the seven hours of film that made up the first three episodes.
EDWARD AND ALPHONSE ELRIC:
I frequently tell people to watch FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. They never do. I think about moments of selflessness that these two enact throughout the series, and it just breaks my heart that people aren't this good in real life. Two brothers who only want the other's happiness! Seriously, how magnificent is that?
I BESEECH you to give up your misgivings about anime, and power through the first ten episodes of the series and see if you like it. You will, I have a feeling that you will, because it's literally the best.
SHAWN AND GUS:
Psych is a funny show. It's incredibly well-written, produced and intriguing. If you like watching procedural shows, there really isn't a better one out there. Shawn and Gus have been friends since their infancy. They know each incredibly well. Their chemistry is phenomenal, and while I would like to state that the two sets of brothers that follow this entry are closer, I think Shawn and Gus might be more cleverly written as a pairing than those that might follow. Although it's NECK AND NECK. Whenever Gus or Shawn is in danger, the other will go to any lengths to rescue them. Their banter is incredibly well written.
"Wait for it! WAIIIIIIIIIIT FOR ITTTT!"
"I've heard it both ways." "No you haven't Shawn!"
OOOOH SO MANY GIFS. HOPE YOU HAVE RAM.
TURK AND JD:
Seriously, these guys love each other. While Turk isn't always amazing at showing his affection (see above), he works on it, and by the end of the series, two are routinely inseparable. Zach Braff and Donald Faison are still friends in real life, and the two regularly do projects together (recently Faison did an AMA on Reddit, and Zach Braff asked him the funniest questions).
And finally, despite having said goodbye to all the other brotherships on this list (with the exception of Shawn and Gus) I'm left saying goodbye to yet another two brothers this week. At least one of them.
TROY AND ABED:
Goddammit Troy! Goddammit DONALD GLOVER! Why did you have to leave Community? You were the soul of the show! And now?! What are we going to be left with? Probably a really good show, but it was really hard to watch you leave this week. As it is with everything in Community, these two had a bromance that defied all of the standard bromance tropes. There wasn't an episode with them coming to terms with them deeply loving another man. There wasn't an episode where they pretended like they might be able to love one another in a serious way. Instead they challenged one another routinely. They genuinely cared for each other's well-being beyond themselves. It was hard to say goodbye again. AGAIN! Again.
But it was worth the watch anyway. And there's a slim chance we might seem them together again!
I went on a date tonight! It was a lot of fun! This was the first time I saw this one.
We ate dinner and went to see Her.
I really liked Her. The movie.
I also liked her. The girl. She had really small hands. Which was sort of cute.
Shout out to Tim Rabe who made me feel like blogging was worth my time!